War Diary: Voices of children of war

Qëndresë Halili published her diary about her childhood and growing up as a child of war in Kosovo. In this new book “War Diary” she tells stories of a lost childhood. 

NY Elite: Tell us a little bit about you. 

Qëndresë Halili: I am Qëndresë. My name is a word that means resistance in Albanian— also perseverance and stamina. It is not a child’s name, a feminine one, or that of a flower. Nevertheless, the beauty and the meaning of my name exceed that of a flower’s name. It has achieved its independence! I was born in the most beautiful place in the world: Ferizaj, Kosovo! 

In addition to my being born, a time of hope for my family and for Kosovo was also born, even though my name is Qëndresë and not Hope. The house where my father and his father before him were born has resisted all wars, all thunder, and all earthquakes, and that same resistance is what my father hoped I would inherit. I am Qëndresë! Qëndresë! How could I not love my name? It is neither a feminine name nor that of a flower. The name is ancient but born to a child.  Oh, my, childhood, I thought I had concealed you in a diary. I thought I had escaped you. Maybe I thought so because I was unlike the children of the free world—without fear and war.

qendresa red color

Photo by Ilir Rizaj

My childhood is a grief for which there is no forgetting or escaping.  No one is capable of escaping his or her childhood! On the contrary, people escape from all ages, and they hide in the ones that should have been most beautiful—those of their childhood—but not me. I cannot escape and hide out in my childhood. My childhood was war-torn, blood-filled, 98 violent, sorrowful, fearful, murderous, hateful, and uncertain. It was full of tears, sadness, and anxiety. All of my childhood would be heavy, far too heavy, even for the world’s shoulders.

Qendresa fotoNevertheless, my childhood has something surprisingly special, despite all of the sufferings that have yet to be—and who knows when they shall be—revealed to you. You, who have not been born and I have not birthed yet, will have something special: the diary of my childhood, which I have yet to complete, and which I will never complete; the diary of my childhood, which never grew; the diary of flowers, which never bloomed; the diary of hopes, which were never realized; the diary of all of my peers, whose childhoods, like mine, were stolen from the war and whose lives were taken as well.

I am only twenty-six years old today, and I still need to create a new childhood—a different childhood from the one I suffered. Where can I do so? How? With what words, hopes, and dreams? They’re not enough! My twenty-six years of life lack the first ten! War lived the ten years that I lost. War took my first ten steps and not my feet. Yet it often feels like I am an elderly woman of war, telling stories of the sufferings of a childhood never lived. We are the next children in line. We are the children of war!

NY Elite: What projects are you currently working on?

Qëndresë Halili:The best project I ever did and I ever worked on it was myself, that I started three years ago, since I left my country, Kosova, and then WAR DIARY, a very powerful book that I dreamt since during the Kosova`s War and I just did published here in the Land of Freedom, America. Currently, the project that I`m still working on is MYSELF and still WAR DIARY, The Diary of my childhood, which I have yet to complete, and which I will never complete…

NY Elite: What is this book/project about?

Qëndresë Halili:WAR DIARY, I started writing this book with the only pain that I Feel, the source of all my sorrows: MEAN WAR! It’s all about my childhood filled with war, pain, trauma, fear, blood, suffer, tears, hunger, coldness, misery, massacre and with bullets. So, this means that I do not have a childhood, and I never had it. My toys, dreams, and tales about the birds were different, and because of that, I still need to create a new childhood for others children all over around the World, who, in one, or another way, survived the war, bad war!

PA NGJYRA MA MIRE

NY Elite: Give us an insight into your main character. 

Qëndresë Halili: A strong soul living in a small child body, experiencing war, death and creating a new version of life for everyone who will read this story.

NY Elite: What genre are your books?

Qëndresë Halili: Prose, poetry, sayings, short story, essay…

NY Elite: What draws you to this genre?

Qëndresë Halili: This is all about for the love of writing, and the genre I express is different based of how I feel inspire about something, of motivate feelings and of energies of moments!

NY Elite: What are your biggest accomplishments thus far?

Qëndresë Halili: Freedom, War Diary and exploring and knowing more about myself…

NY Elite: What is your writing process like?

Qëndresë Halili: It is a energy that flows slowly with wisdom, peace and God`s love that I`m accomplishing his gift, based on moments, with hopes, believe, and always, always looking for freedom…

NY Elite: What three social topics/theme do you care mostly about and why?

Qëndresë Halili: Universal love, positivity with freedom of mind, spirituality without religions.

NY Elite: What are your top three favorite books/scripts?

Qëndresë Halili: 

“Alchemist ”

“Law of Attraction”

“Power of Intention”

libriiiiiiii

NY Elite: As a writer, what is the most important aspect of building a character?

Qëndresë Halili: I still believe that listening is the key for everything, exploring yourself, making mistakes, accepting yourself the way you are (but always asking for improvement), loving yourself,  learning, growing, paying attention, and living always in moment without jugging, blaming or hurting yourself.

NY Elite: What are your ambitions for your writing career?

Qëndresë Halili: To go where I belong, to be who I`m and who I always been, A WRITER. A GOOD WRITER!

NY Elite: Which actor/actress would you like to see playing the lead character from your most recent book?

Qëndresë Halili: I wish if I can play that character by myself. If I was able to create that character why not to play? I can sell my book, but not my character!

NY Elite: Do you express yourself creatively in any other ways?

Qëndresë Halili: Very organize person, managing time, thoughts and energy.

NY Elite: How do you market your books?

Qëndresë Halili: Simple: Just write a masterpiece story and the market will find a way to come… “Whatever you can create, you can give permission for freedom”

NY Elite: What advice would you give to aspiring writers?

Qëndresë Halili:Try to turn ambitious into meaning. Meaningful!

fottt luftaaaaa

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